The Latest

Last night dinner, perfect way to end an amazing week! #autumnsecret #honeymoon #hamiltonisland  (at Mariners Restaurant Hamilton Island Marina)
Jul 19, 2014 / 1 note

Last night dinner, perfect way to end an amazing week! #autumnsecret #honeymoon #hamiltonisland (at Mariners Restaurant Hamilton Island Marina)

Every morning just gets better and better. This view will never get old. Blessed to share it with you Mr. Williams xxx #autumnsecret #honeymoon #hamiltonisland
Jul 19, 2014 / 1 note

Every morning just gets better and better. This view will never get old. Blessed to share it with you Mr. Williams xxx #autumnsecret #honeymoon #hamiltonisland

Not even this view could pull us away from the World Cup this morning. Great honeymoon kickoff! #hamiltonisland #worldcip2014 #autumnsecret
Jul 14, 2014

Not even this view could pull us away from the World Cup this morning. Great honeymoon kickoff! #hamiltonisland #worldcip2014 #autumnsecret

A sun shines, the clouds whisp quietly past the endless blue, a blessed start on your first day of light. Tía is coming to kiss you hello x
Jul 3, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 / 1 note

Time to step out.

Application for the new home has begun.
Letter to admission to be posted tomorrow.
Soon, boxes will be packed,
with lives to be contained in a truck,
transferred to a new state.

Time to step out.

Things just don’t seem the same anymore.

The anchor that kept us here,
locked in old-Sydney-town,
has vanished into dust.

We’re leaving everything behind.

The letters of notice have been given.
Thoughts of where we will be,
flow in and out of this mind.

There are some that I will miss and ache for,
the old blood, our little new blood,
and friends who are blood.

Those who celebrated that one special day with Viking and Gypsy.

But others, have completely disappeared.
Facing and fighting their own existential existence,
and forgetting those who were there holding them up,
every day.

Lick the mud off your dirty paws.

And wipe the chalk off the board.
Time to re-inspire,
There is little you require.

Let’s go soon Viking.
I am scared beyond words,
and what I can put to paper,
but Gypsy will walk hand-in-hand with you,
with The Wolves and the Ravens by our side,
and all will be okay.

* Listening to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Soundtrack

May 20, 2014

On the dark side of the fence.

I look at where I promised myself to be,
and I know I am not there.

I know what I need to do,
but I am to tired to do it.

The dark side of the fence.

Pants are getting tighter,
concentration is running thin,
work is not getting done,
and heart is getting cold.

I need to find that little piece of inspiration,
at the bottom of my barrel.

Ways in which I can climb back over to the other side.

  1. Plan all meals. Let’s fend off that other disease. It’s kicking at your heels.
  2. Do that exercise. Jump and move to the beat, punch and kick that frustration back to the sky, move!
  3. Feed that heart. With time made and those you love. You only have now.
  4. Adore that man. The one who said yes. Your future, your life.
  5. Paint this side bright.
    As this is the same side as the dark, anyway.
    Just simply a different colour.
    See that sunshine, not the clouds.

Report on success to come shortly, I hope.

Feb 4, 2014

It’s hard to share, sometimes. But it’s part of the mend.

I’ve sat down,
paper on lap,
pen at the ready,
but at times,
I find the words are easy to materialise,
and other times,
I fear it’s just too sad to share.

But it is a part of the word that I live in.
The mean tiredness monster comes and snaps at your heels,
and you can’t run away,
they found your secret hiding spots,
and it’s just the way it’s going to be for a while.

It joins up with it’s friend depression,
their mate anxiety,
and a new colleague, lack-of-confidence.

Sometimes I just get so tired of pretending that I am fine.
And I worry that I will push away my loves and dears,
for fear that I’m just to black and bland,
particularly in their world of light and bright.

But you know what? It’s me.
It’s the little monster I have to conquer and slay.
And I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

So here’s to a change.
Here’s to new beginnings.
Here’s to getting the ‘ole me back.

My year. My terms. My happiness.

I’m going to kick your butt CFS monster,
have fun going back into that grey and black hole you came out of.

And if I haven’t seen you in some time.
Let’s get together and smile some more too,
'cause I miss you all plenty,
I just can’t run around like I used to x

Jan 1, 2014 / 1 note

A dream and wish for you, this new year.

This year will be different.

A year of change is now here:
new experiences, challenges and everlasting memories. 

I am going to smash and kick this chronic fatigue monster in the butt.
I am going to smash this PhD into the sky.
I am going to get back on track.

Life is about happiness and love.

Get out there,
do that thing you’ve been dreaming about.

Say sorry to the ones you’ve been bitter with,
turn a new leaf and live life.

One of the greatest lessons I learned last year,
is how fleeting our time is here.
You think you have all time in the world,
and then you’re quietly yet sharply shown that it’s not the case.

Not for all of us.
How lucky are we,
that we are still here in the midst of all this chaos and challenge.

Enjoy, love deeply and never look back.

Love all, especially those you hate.

Do what you love,
forget about the dollars in your pocket
and how green the grass is on the other side of the fence.

It’s cliche,
but we truly only have now,
remember that everyday.

Wishes for you all this year and always:
love, humility, friendship and inner peace.

Don’t wait for the stop sign to be placed right in front of your eyes for you to get to where you dream to be.

Make yourself stop before you even get there.
I had it placed in front of my eyes,
right on my nose,
before I even realised it.
I could have done it myself.

Saved myself from grief and hardship.

But at least I am learning.
Better late than never.

Dreams and wishes for you all, this new year.

To a blissful year, love from me,
do not ever forget how lucky we all are x

Dec 10, 2013

A week with fellow nerds of the science kind.

Sincere apologies,
some time has lapsed between chats.
But, thankfully,
it’s all due to being happily immersed in a week of nerdage.

One thing I am blessed of,
is that even when I feel exhaustion in all my being,
if there is a unique opportunity to nerd it up,
I harden up and get it done.
(The payback is definitely worth it,
and there is ALWAYS payback).

So, another year, another ASL Congress.
(Australian Society for Limnology, for you non-science nerds).

It was just what I needed.

It’s so refreshing,
and this happens every year,
to happily have a chat with someone else,
about your favourite macroinvertebrate or other nerd interest,
why you love it,
what is so awesome about it,
and the other person on the other end,
nods, smiles, and agrees.
Even understands,
how you could think this little creature or thing is so fantastic,
and why it holds a special part of your heart.

It’s an academic family,
where everyone respects everyone else,
where the God’s of Limnology will talk to you over a beer,
and you can’t fathom how it even happened.

This person you hold in the highest of esteem,
it talking to you,
a little science minion at the beginning of their career,
and they are listening to every word you say.

This happens to me every year.
And I love it!

This year,
it was Bruce Chessman.
(I nerd out something fierce when I talk to Bruce Chessman,
he is one of the pioneers of bug research and water science).

And AGAIN,
he talked to me this year.
THE Bruce Chessman,
recipient of the ASL Hilary Jolly Award.

I mean, Bruce Chessman!

HE talked to me,
about EVEN potentially collaborating!
*insert several expletives*

You cannot understand how excited I am!

And then there are all the chats about keeping at it,
the pats on shoulders,
the supportive words,
the kudos for how far I’ve come so far,
and to keep going,
even in these adverse circumstances.

Thanks Bec, thanks Ross, thanks Evan.

Looks like I’ll be moving to a new academic home next year.

But I guess the point of all of this,
it’s is a huge kudos,
mainly to my fellow limno kids,
To Murdoch, Monash, Canberra, NSW, WA and others.

Gosh you kids rock!

Thanks for telling me to sit down when I looked tired.
Making sure I looked after myself when I nerded out too much.
Giving me pats on the back,
and being inspirational yourselves.

A big reason for coming back every year,
is thanks to you all!

So thank you thank you thank you!

To end a rant,
as this is not-so-eloquent as compared to other texts and posts,
I guess this is a long winded thank you.

Thanks ASL.
Thanks ASL kids.

Thank you for bringing back a smile,
and some energy, in the midst of an incredibly difficult year
to someone who really really needed it.

Love you all, Initiis x

Nov 22, 2013 / 1 note

It’s in our hands, it always was.

All the power we need to possess for change lies within,
something that right now,
I need to remember with every moment.

Who knew,
how in a selfish but honest moment,
you find that energy that you have been dreaming for.

That same energy that disapated those two or so years ago.
(Sure, I’m not running around like the old days,
but I feel a little fresher!).

It’s thanks to you all,
my loved ones.

I feel like I have this new spirit within,
that lonely feeling fades with every new breath,
and I’m going to get better.

And I’ll keep you in touch.
With the good days.
And the bad days.

Especially now that I know that I have you all,
even when you are going through your own personal battles and wars.

I have the best motivation of all.
Something that people strive for their entire lives.

Unconditional love from you all.

A sincere thanks for all your words.
I love you all.
And your love for me means more than you could ever know x